We were thrilled to launch Park & Bond with a smart and provocative piece by Marisa Zupan—a k a The Significant Other—making the case for a woman’s role in men’s style. Not entirely unexpectely, the response from the men’s blogosphere was plenty spirited—and impressively insightful. Here are three responses (edited for length), plus two others solicited from a couple of our favorite men’s style bloggers.

Derek Guy,
Die, Workwear!
Men can’t take the beating entirely for this. It’s not so much that they’re dressing for other men so much as it's easier to find style communities online than in real life. Being sartorially inclined in a world of disinterested slobs presents many social challenges. We can feel like the nailhead waiting to be hammered down. The menswear community lets you know that there are others out there who share your interest. Now, it just so happens that the men’s style community is mostly made up of men.

Also, let’s be even handed—women also dress for other women. How else can one explain harem pants or clamors for the new “It” bag? Those definitely aren’t for male approval, so dressing for the same sex isn’t novel here. We all dress to express our belonging to a group or to establish our status among peers. The difference is that men do it online, because that’s where most of our conversations about men’s style happen, while women do it locally with friends.

In the end, however, dressing well involves multiple goals. Deciding what clothes to put on in the morning is as much of a multi-faceted social act as it is a personal one. A truly well dressed man is able to respect social requirements, earn the approval of his peers, express himself, and, yes, catch a woman’s eye.

But speaking of the fairer sex, be sure to heed the vetoes, especially if there are choruses of them. After all, most women you know have been paying attention to fit and color coordination much longer than you have, and that matters more than whether you’re wearing the latest item that the menswear blogosphere is aflutter over.

 

Kendrick Jackson,
A Distinctive Taste

Ladies, at the end of the day this is all for you. What I love about the current menswear movement is that the foundation is based in bespoke. That means there is substance and heritage to this movement—a love of well-crafted garments, not fluff.

But one thing about going to a tailor is that, you don’t bring your wife or girlfriend. It’s not necessary; you’re in the care of someone who has mastered his craft. And that’s what guys are looking for: People who really know what they’re doing. The phenomenon of guys on the Internet posting pictures for the approval of other guys on the Internet is an extension of the younger generation’s lack of that kind of role model. We are the children and grandchildren of the Baby Boomers. These are the guys who ended the reign of the necktie; who introduced the concept of casual Fridays.

But there’s a breed of men out there who have an insatiable appetite for improvement. Not just in the way they dress, but also how they carry themselves in their day-to-day lives. And they’re online. They’re the role models.

I personally follow a lot of individuals who dress in the style that I am comfortable with, or the post images of that style, and very few of these people are women. Which brings me back to my overall point. Women. They are great to shop with once you have the basics down to reinforce your decisions, not to make them for you. The latter option can—and usually will—be dangerous unless that is her trade. My wife has impeccable taste in color coordination and knows what styles look good on both men and women.  When I leave the house, if she says nothing to me about what I’m wearing, I know I am okay. But if she mentions my shoes, my tie, or anything else, I’ll re-evaluate the situation.  She won’t go in the closet and find the right fix. She leaves that up to me.  Outside of picking which cologne, my wife has very little impact on my style execution. 

That said, I am very lucky to have her in my life. Other guys are trying to get to that point. We give each other dap when we look fresh. But at the end of the day, it’s the approval from the female followers that really makes the guys happy. So ladies, when you see a guy post his look, and he looks fresh, let him know. He really did for you.

Ladies, stay fly.

Gentlemen, stay fresh.

 

Lawrence Schlossman,
Sartorially Inclined; How to Talk to Girls at Parties
The sad truth is that Marisa is of a very rare breed—a woman who is not only interested in menswear but who happens to also know her stuff. Most women, unfortunately, aren’t as well versed on the subject. 

I think some guys are realizing that maybe asking women, "does this look good?" might actually end up being counterproductive. That may sound harsh, but, as far as I am concerned, it is the God's honest truth. So, considering that, I'm not about to call out a dude who is using the gauge of his interweb based menswear enthusiast peers. At some point he is going to move past the whole "validation from others" phase and achieve his ultimate goal—dressing well for himself and himself alone. Typically, that comes with perks. I mean, what's more impressive, a woman telling you that she likes how you look because she made you that way or a woman telling you that she likes how you look because you're actually doing it right?

 

Kiyoshi Martinez,
The Silentist
I’ll admit that my initial reaction to the column was negative. I thought, “Well, isn’t it a good thing that guys are starting to know not only how to dress themselves, but have enough self-confidence (SWAG SWAG SWAG!) to go through their life without having to rely on the opinions of others—regardless of gender?”

But, as I said, it’s a bit of knee-jerk reaction, especially if you read through the rest of the essay to understand the context of Zupan’s opening declaration that the female perspective is slipping as a sartorial standard. There’s a cultural/heritage lesson tied to it, and it’s that historical viewpoint that directly comes into conflict with the modern-day well-dressed man’s reality. That is to say that at one point, men dressed appropriately in the context of a society’s traditions, and those traditions were rooted in real-world interactions rather than in the modern context of digital oversharing through social networks.

I think many of us were raised by a generation that wasn’t out to be dressed well; a generation that wanted to be casual continuously throughout life and found proper tailoring stuffy and unimportant.

What we do have, however, is the Internet, which has opened us up to a lot more information from around the world and we’re now able to do research and share ideas faster and get feedback instantly. And because we’re a generation that’s grown with being socially connected through the Internet, it’s probably natural that we’re dressing to impress the Internet first and foremost. You always want the approval of the elders that taught you—except in this case we are our own elders.

 

Alex Yakovleff,
A Fistful of Style
First off, congrats to all the bloggers out there.  You’re dressing better! Hurrah! It’s a worthy goal to dress better because how you dress determines how you are initially perceived. That’s just a fact. You can be a super genius, Rhodes Scholar, Nobel Prize winner who solves the Jr. Jumble every single day, but if you dress in pajama pants and ratty T-shirts, nobody will take you seriously (at first blush at least).

Second, I think the Interwebs does care too much about reblogs. Many—if not most—people posting on the Internet are trying to show off to the Internet (myself included).  You’re posting pictures to the Internet. Are you really going to argue “I’m just doing it for me, man!”? Because that’s kind of unbelievable.  Of course you’re doing for others, at least to some degree.

But the most important thing, which I think gets lost in the constant posting of beautiful double monks and arguments about whether cargo pants are “essential,” is personality. 

What was once a sartorial whitewashing caused by the “casual” trend is being duplicated in the menswear sphere. People used to seek the approval their cubicled co-workers. Now, they’re “dressed by the Internet,” Either way it’s groupthink, plain and simple.

I for one respect Ashley’s (the ol’ ball & chain) opinion more than the intertubes. She knows me better, she knows who I am more than the internet. And her opinion is untainted by 1000+ pics of Neapolitan shoulders or English v. Italian shoe lasts. She only thinks of what I could look like based on the version of me that she sees every day. So when she says, “I think those bucks look funny, try some brogues.” I know she’s not just saying it because she’s enamored of the shoe of the moment. It’s because she thinks it looks good on me.

But in the end it’s my choice, because I am the only one who wears my clothes.

 

Ms. Zupan responds to the responses:

While I'm resisting the urge to issue pointed reubuttals to each (is it even possible to dress only for yourself?), I must say I'm impressed and delighted to see thoughtful responses from five men whose sartorial wit I respect immensely. I'd say we're off to a grand start. The next reblog is on me, gents.